Blacherd and Orangrid

My roommates and I were not supposed to have pets.  Yet at a Fiesta last weekend one of my roommates won two goldfish.  It was proposed that if they survived the next 24 hours, they could be kept.  Thus, Blacherd and Orangrid came to live with us.  Unusual names?  Absolutely.  The owner did not want to give them human names.  If you think about it long enough, you'll figure out what colors they are.

These little fish came to us in a Starbuck's cup.  Immediately a trip to the pet shop was made where the proprietor was excited to show us the tanks costing $500+.  Well, we were thinking just a simple bowl, the old fashioned kind...that were cheap.  The litany of things to do is one of them got sick was pretty long.  We condensed it into, if the fish seem to be acting abnormally, change the water. 

It has not yet been a week, but we've already figured out that Blacherd is part narcissist and loves spending its time staring at itself in the glass, or maybe trying to plot devious ways to escape.  Orangrid is more of an antagonist.  We've seen this one push Blacherd away from food and stand guard on it.  We had enough of the bullying act and thinking that Blacherd was starving, put in more food, which Orangrid greedily began to eat.  Don't worry, there is still some in the bowl, so if Blarcherd wants, it can eat too. 

Craziest part, instead of watching tv or the internet shows, we're spending more time at the dining table watching these two little fish.  It is a new adventure in our lives.  Amid the difficulties surrounding us, it is something different and fun.

Aging Parents--a love note to my siblings.

When parents get older as adult kids we are faced with many challenges.  If we have siblings we are sometimes blessed with the challenges of trying to figure out what is truly going on with our parent/s without invading our parent's privacy too much.  There is a relationship there between child and parent that is so strong and complex.  We as the children struggle with our own mortality when we look at our parents, who we could never think of as anything except strong and invincible, suddenly needing help, and know that our turn is coming quickly too.  There are so many emotions.

Sometimes siblings are not ready to deal with the harsh reality of a situation.  Sometimes they hide mask their own emotions under other ones.  Taking care of a parent means giving up a part of ourselves, realizing that as an adult, we really do need help, because the task is so much greater that we expect, even greater in some ways than taking care of children.  There is a demand for a great deal of patience, compromise, love and forgiveness.  In certain circumstances this working together can be an opportunity to grow together.  Hope in that should never fade.  It should help us learn more about each other, a coming full circle of sorts as we have a shared beginning and family values that were in common, and now we can see how life has changed and altered some of that from our shared and separate experiences, and the different viewpoints.  Yes, there will be times of anger, resentment, and frustration.  We need to remember how much we mean to each other and hold onto our love which is bigger than that.  

To our parents:  work with us.  Don't hide important things.  Help us to make good decisions for you in the future.  That thing called the Advanced Directive that no one wanted to fill out...we're glad you did because we learned more about you and what is important to you.  These were conversations that no one wanted to have because no one likes to think of our own deaths, but they mean so much to us because otherwise we wouldn't have known the stories that you shared about your own experiences  with other family or friends.  We are ever grateful for that.  They have inspired so many more questions that we can't wait to ask about.  Thank you for sharing your lives with us even more intimately.  We love you.